Where do I begin today's thoughts? The last few days, I have thought a lot about life and how precious it is. April, 2005 and May, 2012 and 2013 have made me stop and think each day given to us is a gift. Each day from here on until I see Jesus I will live the way that my dad would be proud and has taught me. Jesus First, Yourself last and others in between.
From one side to the other side.... On Monday evening, (Memorial Day) my dad was admitted into the hospital for severe confusion and very dangerous Ammonia levels. His Ammonia levels were at his highest were 282. The brain has severe brain damage when the levels reach that high. My dad was in a responsive state for about roughly a day. He was then unresponsive there after due to the lack of brain function. Wednesday, the whole family(Breen , Chapman, and De Young's) were at my dad's side. The grandchildren were able to talk to him telling him Bible Stories and songs and I know my Dad could sense their presence. The Adults were recalling many stories about my dad and thinking of many "Dave" isms. Today, I went and sat next to my dad's side and I just loving being next to him.
Today, is Thursday and on the other side of Michigan Street, I sat in a Chair next to my husband, whom I love and am very proud of. He too, is fighting...Fighting to get rid of the cancer that has crept back into his life. Two weeks ago I sat at the cancer pavilion by him and he was so sick. Today, was another story. Was he tired? Yes. Today, he worked a little, he ate a little and he even joked. That is something that would not of even happened last week. I am so grateful for the little glimpse's of hope that Jesus gives us in the reality of what is happening. We were at the cancer pavilion a little longer today due to what happened Two weeks ago. They first pumped him with fluids then administered Anti- nausea meds. They then moved to giving him a bio- agent and then premeds and finally the chemo itself. Today, we were grateful to have family friends right by our side. It was so nice that Keith was able to stay right by Kent as I was able to leave for a short while and visit my dad. Greg then escorted me across the busy Street, (for those who know me know that I feel uneasy about busy traffic) A big thank you to both of them who have helped ease my mind while it spins in this world that I can't believe I'm in. We were at the cancer pavilion from roughly 10:30 am to roughly 6 pm. That was the longest I feel we have been there since our first visit in the infusion area. We will now anticipate the removal of his pump on Saturday.
As I have been thinking a lot today, I have been thinking about a thought, a thought that a dear friend, mentioned to me a day ago. I know that my dad's battle will soon be done, but he has won when he sees Jesus face. Our dear friend's question was this. What will Dave's face look like when he sees Jesus? I don't know but I think that I have a pretty good idea. I can't wait for that day!
So I leave you with this, Live every day with passion! A passion of Jesus Christ in your heart that others may know that you live with Jesus in your heart and there is no question that you will see Jesus face as soon my dad will. Live Out loud! I will. Will you?
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Round 3
Chemo day! Round 3!Complete.
Well The start of round 1 and 2 was much easier.
Where do we begin.... well Kent started his chemo roughly at 12:00 pm on Thursday. "Our nurse," came and started administering the drugs and I could tell Kent was not ready for this. He was very "depressed." As the nurse started the drug she asked we had any questions... the only thing I asked was if the new bio agent had any side affects and her answer was, "no, it was a lot like the other one", he had received. So then we preceded, I could tell half way into the treatment he was uncomfortable and not quite the way he normally felt. He was feeling very uneasy, restless, and had some things that just didn't add up to being "fine." When we were almost done Kent looked a little more whipped than what he normally does. Like always I secretly worried, but trudged him home. When we were home for the evening, we were sitting watching evening TV and off Kent went with a little more urgency than normal to the restroom. This continued the evening and somehow he skipped the sleeping hrs and then again in the morning started up again. I then called the Chemo nurse in the morning and she told me, "If he continues we will get him in that afternoon and pump him with fluids and anti nausea meds." He kept losing more, so we journeyed to the Cancer Pavillion. I was wondering what we did different, I questioned what I did wrong as the caregiver, I prayed that he would get better soon. I was so wanting the old Kent to return. The one that laughs and jokes, the one that usually can out run me and now can barely walk to the bedroom because all the energy was zapped out from under him. On Friday evening we came home from the cancer Pavillion and he slept from 5 pm until 10 30 pm and then I woke him up to go to bed. He continued to sleep until about 930 am. The fluids seemed to help. What I haven't told you yet is this... I asked them, "What was different beside the bio agent that you gave him." She went back and reviewed his chart and said," He didn't get one of the Anti nausea meds." I said, "ohhhhhhh. She told both Kent and I and Kent's Mom who was with us "don't worry, I hit the doctor already for you" and I said " Please don't we need him." :)
All weekend Kent has struggled, he has been very restless and uncomfortable. He has been hot then cold, has had no appetite and his comfort food of choice has been dry Honey Nut Cheerios. He has slept off and on and had very little to no sense of humor. For those who know Kent that is just not him. As a caregiver this just has not been easy to watch. I am not complaining but I just wish that I could take the illness from the most important men in my life away with the snap of a finger. Many of you know about my dad and his cancer journey but Kent's Dad has some struggles with advanced Alzheimer's. I Love these 3 and it is so hard to watch them all suffer and leads me to say, "Why GOD?!"
So tomorrow starts a new week and I think when Kent usually starts his week after chemo back at work he will take one more day at home. He will try to log in a few hours. I think it will be good for him as he needs to get back to "normal."
So I ask one thing. Please Keep praying. This has put a toll on our whole family. Lydia is doing pretty well with it all but is scared when Dad is so sick. Then she also has Papa she prays for every night and her Grandpa. This little Girl is so confused and is being forced to grow up before our eyes.
We are blessed. We have so many who have taken Lydia so she can have "normal." Those who have brought meals, those who have helped on our lawn, who have transported and many more , to all of you I say Thank You from the bottom of our hearts.
--Leah
P.S. A little note from Kent. I thank you all for your prayers and concerns. I am finally starting to feel a little better from the rest of this weekend. I hope my appetite and energy level returns on Tuesday as it has in the past.
-- Kent
Well The start of round 1 and 2 was much easier.
Where do we begin.... well Kent started his chemo roughly at 12:00 pm on Thursday. "Our nurse," came and started administering the drugs and I could tell Kent was not ready for this. He was very "depressed." As the nurse started the drug she asked we had any questions... the only thing I asked was if the new bio agent had any side affects and her answer was, "no, it was a lot like the other one", he had received. So then we preceded, I could tell half way into the treatment he was uncomfortable and not quite the way he normally felt. He was feeling very uneasy, restless, and had some things that just didn't add up to being "fine." When we were almost done Kent looked a little more whipped than what he normally does. Like always I secretly worried, but trudged him home. When we were home for the evening, we were sitting watching evening TV and off Kent went with a little more urgency than normal to the restroom. This continued the evening and somehow he skipped the sleeping hrs and then again in the morning started up again. I then called the Chemo nurse in the morning and she told me, "If he continues we will get him in that afternoon and pump him with fluids and anti nausea meds." He kept losing more, so we journeyed to the Cancer Pavillion. I was wondering what we did different, I questioned what I did wrong as the caregiver, I prayed that he would get better soon. I was so wanting the old Kent to return. The one that laughs and jokes, the one that usually can out run me and now can barely walk to the bedroom because all the energy was zapped out from under him. On Friday evening we came home from the cancer Pavillion and he slept from 5 pm until 10 30 pm and then I woke him up to go to bed. He continued to sleep until about 930 am. The fluids seemed to help. What I haven't told you yet is this... I asked them, "What was different beside the bio agent that you gave him." She went back and reviewed his chart and said," He didn't get one of the Anti nausea meds." I said, "ohhhhhhh. She told both Kent and I and Kent's Mom who was with us "don't worry, I hit the doctor already for you" and I said " Please don't we need him." :)
All weekend Kent has struggled, he has been very restless and uncomfortable. He has been hot then cold, has had no appetite and his comfort food of choice has been dry Honey Nut Cheerios. He has slept off and on and had very little to no sense of humor. For those who know Kent that is just not him. As a caregiver this just has not been easy to watch. I am not complaining but I just wish that I could take the illness from the most important men in my life away with the snap of a finger. Many of you know about my dad and his cancer journey but Kent's Dad has some struggles with advanced Alzheimer's. I Love these 3 and it is so hard to watch them all suffer and leads me to say, "Why GOD?!"
So tomorrow starts a new week and I think when Kent usually starts his week after chemo back at work he will take one more day at home. He will try to log in a few hours. I think it will be good for him as he needs to get back to "normal."
So I ask one thing. Please Keep praying. This has put a toll on our whole family. Lydia is doing pretty well with it all but is scared when Dad is so sick. Then she also has Papa she prays for every night and her Grandpa. This little Girl is so confused and is being forced to grow up before our eyes.
We are blessed. We have so many who have taken Lydia so she can have "normal." Those who have brought meals, those who have helped on our lawn, who have transported and many more , to all of you I say Thank You from the bottom of our hearts.
--Leah
P.S. A little note from Kent. I thank you all for your prayers and concerns. I am finally starting to feel a little better from the rest of this weekend. I hope my appetite and energy level returns on Tuesday as it has in the past.
-- Kent
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Prayers & Support
Chemo Day! Round 3!
Today was the start of a regimen of yet another Summer sitting in a "Chemo Chair." Every other Thursday Kent will be one of many people that sit and receive Chemo.
Today we arrived at the Cancer center and we talked to a social worker. We were talking to her about renewing a grant that would help us offset some of the medical expenses and she informed us we missed the renewal by one day, major bummer! We have a little wiggle room so we will wait to see if anything new comes up and plan that out when the time arises.
Kent then went and had his labs drawn. Every week Kent usually has a certain lab tech that he prefers and she has not been there the last few times. Many of you know that Kent has a unique sense of humor and that lab tech always seemed to "get" Kent.:) We then, get a call into the "Chemo Pod." Kent takes his spot and then quietly waited to learn about the drill this time around. Kent will be on the same Chemo that he was on before. It is called, Folfiri, this name is an acronym for many "drugs" that are administered to him. The Doctor has also added in one new bio agent- Zaltrap. Kent was "hooked up" and within the 1st Hour and a half I could tell that the chemo was taking a toll on his body. He was very tired and became very quiet. I somewhat recall this from the 1st Chemo of round 1 and 2. His body needs to figure out the gruel of the harsh reality of what Chemo does.
On Chemo days Kent and I often sit alone and often talk, or watch videos, or see who we can give a smile to in our "pod" area. Today, we had two visitors one was an old co worker of Kent and the other a new friend from Sunrise. Today, we were encouraged by their love and support. At times, we can get down just from the reality of this terrible disease and it was so nice to be encouraged. We would like to thank both of them for coming out and visiting with us.
One of the last treatments of the last rounds Kent had, Kent met a gentleman that was on a cancer journey himself. They started talking together and built a friendship. Kent asked me today, "I wonder what happen to him." I said, " I have know idea, but maybe we will see him again." as Kent was walking down the isle we saw him and later Kent was able to talk to him. We are very thankful for friendships and others to walk this journey with us.
Speaking of others to journeying with us.... A couple of weeks ago, Kent and My dad received a email from one of their doctors that they were running in the 25 K River Bank Run and they had a goal in mind. Their goal was to finish the race. Not in any record speed but to finish. Along the way he listened to worship songs that my mom (representing my dad) and Kent had given him to listen to as he raced in Honor of them. What many of you need to know is that this Doctor is a true man of God . He as a doctor takes care of Kent and my Dad's medical needs but also is invested in helping them spiritually, and emotionally. He is one of a kind and I myself am fortunate to call him my Doctor as well. We were honored. Many of you know that last year my aunt ran a marathon in honor of Kent and prayed for him as well. We are so honored and thankful that these individuals have invested their quiet time either with music or without, praying for both Kent and my dad. It is a blessing to have such a support system. We say a HUGE THANK YOU!
As I Finish this post I would like to say, How blessed not only the three of us have been but the entire Breen family has been. Many of you have walked along side of us, prayed for us, done practical every day tasks for us, and we can not say enough how much we Love you and are grateful for you! I am overwhelmed with all the care, love and prayers. Leah,
Today was the start of a regimen of yet another Summer sitting in a "Chemo Chair." Every other Thursday Kent will be one of many people that sit and receive Chemo.
Today we arrived at the Cancer center and we talked to a social worker. We were talking to her about renewing a grant that would help us offset some of the medical expenses and she informed us we missed the renewal by one day, major bummer! We have a little wiggle room so we will wait to see if anything new comes up and plan that out when the time arises.
Kent then went and had his labs drawn. Every week Kent usually has a certain lab tech that he prefers and she has not been there the last few times. Many of you know that Kent has a unique sense of humor and that lab tech always seemed to "get" Kent.:) We then, get a call into the "Chemo Pod." Kent takes his spot and then quietly waited to learn about the drill this time around. Kent will be on the same Chemo that he was on before. It is called, Folfiri, this name is an acronym for many "drugs" that are administered to him. The Doctor has also added in one new bio agent- Zaltrap. Kent was "hooked up" and within the 1st Hour and a half I could tell that the chemo was taking a toll on his body. He was very tired and became very quiet. I somewhat recall this from the 1st Chemo of round 1 and 2. His body needs to figure out the gruel of the harsh reality of what Chemo does.
On Chemo days Kent and I often sit alone and often talk, or watch videos, or see who we can give a smile to in our "pod" area. Today, we had two visitors one was an old co worker of Kent and the other a new friend from Sunrise. Today, we were encouraged by their love and support. At times, we can get down just from the reality of this terrible disease and it was so nice to be encouraged. We would like to thank both of them for coming out and visiting with us.
One of the last treatments of the last rounds Kent had, Kent met a gentleman that was on a cancer journey himself. They started talking together and built a friendship. Kent asked me today, "I wonder what happen to him." I said, " I have know idea, but maybe we will see him again." as Kent was walking down the isle we saw him and later Kent was able to talk to him. We are very thankful for friendships and others to walk this journey with us.
Speaking of others to journeying with us.... A couple of weeks ago, Kent and My dad received a email from one of their doctors that they were running in the 25 K River Bank Run and they had a goal in mind. Their goal was to finish the race. Not in any record speed but to finish. Along the way he listened to worship songs that my mom (representing my dad) and Kent had given him to listen to as he raced in Honor of them. What many of you need to know is that this Doctor is a true man of God . He as a doctor takes care of Kent and my Dad's medical needs but also is invested in helping them spiritually, and emotionally. He is one of a kind and I myself am fortunate to call him my Doctor as well. We were honored. Many of you know that last year my aunt ran a marathon in honor of Kent and prayed for him as well. We are so honored and thankful that these individuals have invested their quiet time either with music or without, praying for both Kent and my dad. It is a blessing to have such a support system. We say a HUGE THANK YOU!
As I Finish this post I would like to say, How blessed not only the three of us have been but the entire Breen family has been. Many of you have walked along side of us, prayed for us, done practical every day tasks for us, and we can not say enough how much we Love you and are grateful for you! I am overwhelmed with all the care, love and prayers. Leah,
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
362 days
It was May 11 almost a year ago when I first heard the words "you have cancer" Although not in exactly the same place or the same manner, 362 days later (Wednesday May 8 2013) I heard those words again. Yes you are reading correctly.
Last wednesday I went in for a PET-CT scan to see how things were going since surgery. Today I met with my Oncologist to get a report of the scan. He wasn't in the room for more than a handful of seconds before he told us that I had a reoccurance of cancer. There are 4 spots in the liver. Two reside on the left side and two on the right and those range in size from 8 mm to 15 mm. I also have a spot outside the liver. They think this is a Lymph Node which has grown to the size of 4 cm or 1.5 inches. Lymph nodes normally are not visible with the naked eye from what one of my surgeons told me. The fact that this is 1.5 inches now and was not visible 2 and a half months ago during surgery tells you how quickly this has grown.
Treatment for now will be the same chemo I was getting before, only with a new drug added in. My oncologist talked about other possible treatment plans in the future and didn't outrule surgery. He wants to get started asap with chemo to keep this under control and keep it from spreading to yet another organ. His plan is for me to start my first chemo cycle a week from tomorrow with another in two weeks. I of course get a pump to wear home for 2 days and then get the weekend to recover as best as possible. Let's be honest I was really tired of chemo the last time I had it and thought The surgery would be the last "event" for a while.
I had a lot of information thrown at me today and 7 hours later I'm still trying to process it all. I'm tired and hope I can rest for at least a short time tonight.
--Kent
Last wednesday I went in for a PET-CT scan to see how things were going since surgery. Today I met with my Oncologist to get a report of the scan. He wasn't in the room for more than a handful of seconds before he told us that I had a reoccurance of cancer. There are 4 spots in the liver. Two reside on the left side and two on the right and those range in size from 8 mm to 15 mm. I also have a spot outside the liver. They think this is a Lymph Node which has grown to the size of 4 cm or 1.5 inches. Lymph nodes normally are not visible with the naked eye from what one of my surgeons told me. The fact that this is 1.5 inches now and was not visible 2 and a half months ago during surgery tells you how quickly this has grown.
Treatment for now will be the same chemo I was getting before, only with a new drug added in. My oncologist talked about other possible treatment plans in the future and didn't outrule surgery. He wants to get started asap with chemo to keep this under control and keep it from spreading to yet another organ. His plan is for me to start my first chemo cycle a week from tomorrow with another in two weeks. I of course get a pump to wear home for 2 days and then get the weekend to recover as best as possible. Let's be honest I was really tired of chemo the last time I had it and thought The surgery would be the last "event" for a while.
I had a lot of information thrown at me today and 7 hours later I'm still trying to process it all. I'm tired and hope I can rest for at least a short time tonight.
--Kent
Sunday, May 5, 2013
"Keep it Clean"
This past Wednesday I went in for apossibly my last PET-CT scan. If the scan comes back clean the oncologist will not be able to justify needing another PET-CT scan. This Wednesday I meet with my oncologist to go over the results of the scan. I am eager to see what the scan shows. Obviously I am praying for a clean scan. This would bring on the routine of a visit every three months accompanied by a CT scan each of those for a while until we back off on the scans.
Honestly I am a bit reserved about the scan results. PET shows the activity of cells and organs. Unfortunately this also includes scar tissue. Since I had a surgery recently any scar tissue will show up as being active. This can be translated as possibly being cancer. I'm sure my oncologist will say this is is inflammation and is normal post surgical behavior.
I don't see my Liver surgeon until the end of July. I expect any "active" inflammation will be showing up by that point. However I won't like won't have another scan until August. My Liver surgeon will likely want to take a closer look with at least an MRI or possibly even an biopsy.
Obviously a lot of this is in the future but worry tends to creep in my mind when I don't know what the answers will be. Prayers for a clean scan are all I ask for.
-- Kent
p.s. Leep checking care pages for updates on Leah's dad. http://www.carepages.com/carepages/DaveBreenCarePage
Honestly I am a bit reserved about the scan results. PET shows the activity of cells and organs. Unfortunately this also includes scar tissue. Since I had a surgery recently any scar tissue will show up as being active. This can be translated as possibly being cancer. I'm sure my oncologist will say this is is inflammation and is normal post surgical behavior.
I don't see my Liver surgeon until the end of July. I expect any "active" inflammation will be showing up by that point. However I won't like won't have another scan until August. My Liver surgeon will likely want to take a closer look with at least an MRI or possibly even an biopsy.
Obviously a lot of this is in the future but worry tends to creep in my mind when I don't know what the answers will be. Prayers for a clean scan are all I ask for.
-- Kent
p.s. Leep checking care pages for updates on Leah's dad. http://www.carepages.com/carepages/DaveBreenCarePage
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