How are you doing?

The question I often get asked is...  How are you doing? I often don't know how to asnswer it.

 120 days of life without Kent. 

 Some days I feel like I am good and I can handle most anything that comes my way.  Some days, I hold it together and come home and just wish I had him here. The tears well up as my empty house is a constant reminder of his absence. I miss doing simple things together, we didn't need to do fancy trips together although they were fun.  All we cared about was having ice cream dates together on the back deck, or even taking a walk around our yard for him to get fresh air when days were difficult and he had no energy.  

Lydia for the month of May has been busy.  Lifegaurd training for Geneva took a better part of May and she did extremely well in the fridgid temps. Lydia has been our '"go getter" since I can remember and the "miles" she has gone is quite amazing! She now is almost done with her intense PD type training before Geneva starts on June 9th, with campers! (more on her adventures through the summer.)

 May 27th Lydia moved to Camp Geneva and that was my first night alone.  ALONE! I wish I could say I was prepared or even that it went well.  The next few nights I struggled.  I lay awake. In a room where Kent was cared for by Hospice until he passed.  My mind went everywhere other than asleep.  I had every thing to help me but I just couldn't sleep. Most nights continue to be like that, I am blessed if I get one full nights sleep.  

This summer I will be volunteering some of my Monday's at Geneva.  Even though I will not see my girl at all, I can't wait to start this new role.  My family loves and has been part of Geneva forever.  My Dad taught messages on Sundays, my cousin has been a chaplain, Lydia has had many roles starting with being a young camper and now could not make me more proud as she has become high school cordinator.  

May 29 th I recieved an email from the monument placement company.  Our headstone had been placed.  I had texted Kent's mom and my mom and Kent's Mom and I drove that evening to see it.  It was beautiful! It told of everything Kent was... He wanted everyone to, "Keep sharing Jesus." and to  Hope in Jesus! (I will share a photo on FB) (I'm not techy like my daughter to put on the blog.)

We started June off on the 1st remembering my Dad.  It is 12 years of celebrating him since his passing.  The amazing Husband, Dad, Papa, and Pastor he was! People still to this day remind us how he  blessed them and their story. We are so blessed by each person and their rememberance! What an honor it is for Lydia and me to call him Dad and Papa!  

So as I close on the next month without Kent I can't think of a better way to remember him June 5. 

 I will go out to lunch with a wonderful friend.  

June 5th  in the evening we will head to a Friend and Family dinner at Geneva. (formerly the donor dinner.) This dinner we will hear the stories of Geneva, we will hear the staff sing a song or two including the new theme song. Kent went last year and even though he won't be there in person  he is with Lydia as his daughter tells campers the wonderful stories of Jesus! 

Thank You to every person that looks out for me, cares for me, is there through the tears and the laughter! I can not say it enough of how much I love you all! Days and nights are just not the same without him.  I miss conversation, drives and the love we shared.  He will forever be in my heart.  Always!  

Leah and Lydia