Worship

 The theme this year at my School is,  Created to Worship. I have been thinking a lot lately of the blessing that it has been to focus my eyes on Worship after Kent's passing. 

Worship

Let me share a story that many may not know about us... When Kent and I first started dating back in 1995, my Dad was a pastor at Fair Haven Reformed Church .  My dad shared with Kent and myself that the church was in need of someone to set up the stage every Saturday night for the worship team the following morning.  Kent without missing a beat said, "We can do that."  He loved serving and loved worship!  Kent said, "Yes!"  Kent played the drums at Fair Haven from time to time and loved worshipping through music.  I think back to that time and now I am so grateful for time of focusing on worship as we set up the stage. 

Kent always had a beat.  His fingers tapped to Christian music on the steering wheel in the car. If you visited our home or like me came home after an errend the house  would be shaking as he was prepared for a church service. He constantly would move is head to the beat of a song  that would be playing in the background as his daughter would be expermenting with the next thing she wanted to bake. Kent loved music and loved worship.

The last story I want to share is this.... Kent, during his illness wanted to still play and worship.  He was looking for just the right place with the right people where he could play and use his talents.  Our Family had a few conneections with a home in Holland where those who need a bit of support to carry out daily tasks of living.   Kent knew the worship leader in the church community on this campus and Kent sought out a oppertunity to again use his talents to worship.  It was a true blessing seeing Kent with many that live on this campus and helping them worship in their own way.

So as I leave this blog on the 9 th month without Kent, I would love to challenge you to find ways to Worship everyday.  Maybe it is dancing next to a little girl in class like me, maybe it will be praying with someone who needed extra care and love that has been on your mind, maybe its driving out of your way to help someone when time isn't on your side.  God loves your Worship! He has Created you to Worship! 

Psalm 100 

Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth, WORSHIP the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs, Know that the Lord is God.  It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.  Enter his gates with Thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.  For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.  

Lydia and I thank you for all your prayers and love, 

Leah and Lydia

50

 Honest ... Today, I turn 50! Yes I am 50.  I don't want to celebrate. It's not that I don't want to turn 50, It's just I never wanted to celebrate a number that my husband was never able to reach here on earth. I never thought that I would celebrate a year as early as 50 without him. 

When April 25th, 2025 came and he wasn't here to celebrate his 50th birthday, we still celebrated him! So, why would I want to celebrate my day without him.  He would have been excited to celebrate today so I will celebrate! This is the time I would've caught up to him.   One unique thing about our Birthday's  is that our 1/2 Birthday's are each others Birthday's.  He was April 25th and me Oct 25th, of the same year! 

Today,  is a  reminder on how blessed our little family is.  An extended family that has stood by Lydia and I for almost 9 months and reminded us we are not in this alone,  I have a work family that has shown me so much care, and I am so thankful for a daughter and her boyfriend, Eli who time after time have been here for me when the tears just flow and the two of them continuely tell me, " It's ok and you are doing well."  "Keep going!"  I am so blessed that today so many of my family will take time to celebrate with me! I am so thankful even though it feels bittersweet!

I will continue to keep looking at ways to be grateful for each oppertunity that comes into my path to whom I can celebrate too.  Thinking of the ways I can somehow be there for those who have constantly been around me, who maybe need encouragement the way I once too needed it!

I am continuely reminded of one thing,  We have a Heavenly Father that will never leave our side.  He has and will continue to place people to be by our side.  When we are walking in a storm he will bring us through each storm and make us grow during those times. I  am thankful for celebration's here on Earth and in Heaven!  I can't wait for the best Celebration some day! Something Kent has already Celebrated!  

So Let's Celebrate!

 

Love, Leah and Lydia and Heavenly Hugs from Kent! 

Pouring into Lydia!

 As I sit in Kent's Chair right now,  I reflect on just how much Lydia and I miss all that Kent helped both of us with.  

The last time I wrote to update you on the blog, Lydia was just getting her feet "wet" in her last year in under grad at Hope. She was just entering into her new internship and was mentoring RA's at Hope.

Since she has started her fall school year, it has been a JOY watching her, and hearing the many blessings of each person she pours into, but also hearing the stories of those who pour into her as well. Kent was one of those people who alway poured into Lydia and recently she is feeling his absence.  Lydia is getting ready to apply for Grad school. Kent would have helped her moving forward without missig a beat and I am not as confident that I can fill those shoes. Currently she is working on all the first steps of the applying. We will update you when we have more details in the progress as it comes avalible.

I too, have been feeling very underconfident in many things without Kent!  As I have started my school year, Kent would have helped me navigate all my trainings for school and now I nervously attempt some of it on my own. I am very thankful for staff at JCS who have helped me through some as well.  There are  also many times where when I want to make a recipe and I need to open a can and I'm by myself, "one handed" and I think, "Oh no! I can't work the can opener!" I instantly break into tears! Then as we enter into the months of winter I know I will struggle to navigate driving and I lose my confidence during the winter months.  

Many of you knew Kent to be very quiet,  yet he did so much for not only the two of us but so many.  I find myself daily saying, "Kent did that so well, now how are we going to do it on our own"  Kent was a "Kent" of all trades.  Where there was a need he was there and poured into everyone! 

This past weekend Lydia and I had a chance to go away for the weekend.  While on that short stay we encountered a few hiccups and both of us said,"Well, that wouldn't of happened if Dad/Kent were here to help us do it." Lydia and I had a great time visiting Mackinaw Island together.  We did a few first things, too! Lydia drove us all the way there and home and did amazing. We headed to the carriage ride tours right away when we hit the island and then got off at the Grand Hotel.  We sat on the porch, did the self tour of the spots vistors can go, we visited a restraunt we had never been to and sat outside sweating in October. 

 Missing Kent every new experince isn't easy, but I pray that as it is a new normal that we learn as we go and can remember what Kent would have done. I pray as a family we remember the past with Him, create new memories remembering him. To live and love people, pouring into them as he poured into Lydia, and doing everything with a servants heart! 

Thank You to all of you for Pouring not only into Lydia, but to me as well! 

As I wrap this blog post up I say a huge THANK YOU if you have some how helped our little family survive and navigate the big shoes Kent has left us! We appreciate you!  

 On another note... I may be reaching out if your nearby to open a can! 

Love, Leah and Lydia 

Is There Music in Heaven?

 Music

Our family has always enjoyed music.  Kent played drums, always listened to music full blast, taught his daughter drums, and even taught me the appreciation for it.  Downstairs sits Kent's drums. He loved pounding out on them, playing for a few
church services and even enjoyed helping kids who have a passion for learning drums. I recently have gone downstairs and walked past those silent drums, a smile and a tear came to me all at the same time. Those drums have not had a tune played in a bit, but I can sit here now and still hear some of the drum beats he played ringing in my ear. 

Lighthouse

This past week several family members found our way up to Ludington. A place Kent has always enjoyed. Whether it was camping, hiking trails or going up in the lighthouse he loved it. On Satuday August 30, we rode a bus to the lighthouse. For Several years Kent and his dad climbed and Lydia then joined in climbing up the lighthouse when she was old enough.  When Kent's dad passed Lydia and Kent carried on climbing.  This year Lydia climbed on with Eli.  In honor of Rich and Kent (Father and Son) We have trex boards in their memory placed at the lighthouse. Thankful for this Generational carried out tradition.  In the same way I am truly thankful for a shared faith, and continued passing on of God's light.  

Is there Music in Heaven?

Kent loved music. As his health declined and we were in and out of the hospital, one of his thoughts and our discussions was this...Is there music in Heaven? I told him I thought so... Harps played, lyres, tamborines, shofars, trumpets and of course cymbals are all metioned in the Bible. So I think Kent has found his drums, found the best lighthouse to climb and is playing his music full blast! 

I leave you with lyrics to a song that Lydia and I have been listening to a lot. Songs on Heaven have touched our hearts. This a song that will be familar to many but new to some. May it touch your heart too. Our prayer is... maybe it will bring comfort to you on a grief journey you are traveling. God bless you! 

Homesick for Heaven by,  Phil Wickham.

My heart belongs to a country and a King.  Of a land I've always known but i've never seen.  Some call it paradise or the land of the living.  We'll, I call it home and I'm homesick for Heaven. 

I wanna walk with Moses on streets of gold. And dance with David before Your throne.  To thank You face to face for the grace you've given.  I wanna see my children run into Your arms. And worship the Savior who wears my scars. There's an ache in my heart.  I'm homesick for Heaven.

In my Father's house there are many rooms.  Enough for everyone, enough for you. I know it takes some faith but today you can know without question. Believe in the power of Jesus' name and you're going to Heaven, oh, oh. Hallelujah, in Jesus' name we're going to Heaven.

I wanna walk with Moses on the streets of gold. And Dance with David before Your throne. To thank you face to face for the grace You've given. I wanna see my children run into Your arms. And worship the Savior who wears my scars.  There's an ache in my heart.  I'm homesick for Heaven.

No more fear, no more pain. Every tear wiped away. Crying Holy, Holy. Every knee on the floor.  Every voice evermore.  Crying Holy, Holy yeah. Oh, I wanna go home.  Oh, I wanna go home. 

To see the ones I love, who've gone before. When death is a memory and tears are no more. To hear the angels praise, can you even imagine.

I'll run as fast as I can into Your arms. 'Cause I was created to be where You are.  There's an ache in my heart. I'm homesick for Heaven. There's an ache in my heart .  I'm homesick for Heaven. There's an ache in my heart.  I'm Homesick for Heaven. 

Thanks for the continued prayers and love, 

Leah 

Lydia and Eli 

It doesn't get easier! (at least is doesn't feel that way!)

July.  

So much to be excited about in July.  My niece and Lydia's cousin turned 9 years old in the 1st week of July on the 7th .  Lydia turned 21 years on the 15th of July.  Both girls had a celebration at the cottage and many people helped them celebrate. 

July this year brought some of the warmest and driest of months, we have had on record.  One thing Kent paid such careful attention to was making sure his lawn was watered and well taken care of.He also liked a lawn that was green.   So, I carefully tried my hardest to make sure it was green!  The sprinkler made many trips around the yard.  One day, I recieved a Georgetown newsletter and read that water is going up in price! I quietly laughed and said, " oh Kenty boy, I will still water just for you!"

As July neared the end I reflect on a few things that you may or may not find intresting... 

*July brought more "lost" Sunsets in the " Canadian Haze" at our cottage. 

* Lydia at the end of this week will end her Camp Geneva years as camper, counselor and high school cordinator.  She has only skipped  one year since a young age! 

* I have registered campers  and sorted mail at Camp Geneva this summer and Camp Geneva families love sending mail!!  On a typical day you send much snail mail and nearly 500 emails a day! 

*As Lydia ends camp on this Friday evening around 5 pm,  at 7 pm on that same evening she will be moving into her apartment on Hope's Campus.  She will get settled in and then start her new role as Neighborhood Cordinator. In this job she will be responsible for taking care of 6 to 8 RA's and helping them best do their job caring for each Hope resident.   The trainings start bright and early on Saturday the 9th.  She would appreciate prayers as it is quite an intense training process. Hope prepares it's leaders well! 

August begins...

As we welcome August, it has brought many emotions and feelings for Lydia and myself.  Six months without Kent.  I am going to be very honest.

   It does not get easier! (at least it doesn't feel that way!)

 Nights are lonley, things that Kent always did for me or Lydia become very hard to do! 

 Everything techy or even just getting gas in my car stops me in my tracks, family get togethers you see the whole family at and then you see a missing piece where Kent should be is difficult,  Sitting in his chair in the living room or kitchen is best because sitting in your chair and staring at his empty chair just brings instant tears.  As Lydia moves into Hope for the final time and her Dad won't be present to move her in just brings heartache, setting up her computer or even just to grab a quick chick fil a frozen lemonade and bringing it to her on a suprise visit will be missed,  Sitting in our season ticket seats of Hope Basketball to cheer on the team he loved to watch with her and his chair empty is another emotional thought! Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we navigate all of these things alone. 

As the two of us navigate our first full school years without Kent we ask for love, encouragement and mostly prayer.  This is the first time I will share with those in my incoming Christian School community that I am a widow.  This will be the first time that Lydia will talk with those in an internship role at her internship and say my dad used to work here but recently lost his battle with Cancer. The first time she will share in her new role with residents at Hope about her life experience lately and see how it may  help students and hold onto what her dad would say  to encourge them. He often gave her so much  advice.

These conversations are tough and we don't mind opening our hearts with those around us, we just pray that our experiences will help others who are walking our circumstances or to encourage those around us. We in our journey pray that we somehow can and will touch others.  

So as we enter into the next months  could we ask for you to pray that in some way as we will try to figure out what life has so  unfairly handed us,and that we may be an example to those who will need us as well! 

Thank you for journeying with us.  We can not do this without you.

Much Love, Leah and Lydia 

 

July 4th and another 5th without!

 5 Months! 

I don't really know how I got this far. 

 For me, when Kent was here being away from him for a few hours was awful.  I just wanted to be back home or wherever he was.  He was my security, and the person I shared every conversation with. 

This past month another first.... our first Father's day without Kent.  Lydia and I along with most of our family went to Church outside at Beechwood. Jean, Kent's mom joined us.  It was a beautiful day.  Many emotions for sure, some stayed close to my heart others floweed pretty freely down my cheeks. 

We came back to the cottage to eat on our beautiful deck.

Many first's are happening and each one brings many emotions and sometimes no words.  There are days when we crave conversations and help from others around us and then there are times that Lydia and I are at a loss of words and we just fall in each others arms.  

June 9, Lydia welcomed campers at Camp Geneva , but she also suggested that I start a new volunteer position near her.  She too, welcomed me at Camp Geneva as I help welcome many campers and families.  For me being with people is a part of the healing process. I also help get the emails sorted to each cabin, and oh my do you all write to your campers! My first time sorting was a record mail day for Geneva! 

I have been enjoying some time at the cottage.  Our Lake Michigan cottage has always been a place that has brought much rest.  It has a little different feel this year for Lydia and I.  Many people have enjoyed it with us this year and we are also a very short drive away from the cemetery. We often find a trip through remembering Kent, my Dad, and many others.  

As I write this we will celebrate our first 4th of July too without Kent.  It was one day he enjoyed.  For many years we would celebrate by camping or going over to friend's houses and watching fireworks over their lake.  This year we will venture over to my sister and join them.  She has extended a wonderful night of fun over by her.  Thank you so much Rachel! We are excited and grateful! 

So as we approach another milestone month, we were grateful for each person who plays a part of our healing journey.  

I am so proud to have Eli and Lydia who help me so often.  They always lift my spirits, even though I might cry when I see them. It's because, I am so thankful that they take special time to carve out of there busy schedule to see me. They make sure I am cared for.  These two are the reason I am able to navigate life. I am so grateful Kent too was able to meet Eli and see how much he will help our famly.  

I again say a huge thank you to all who have in their own way supported us! I am so blessed by prayers, stories and love given to us! You have helped in more ways than you will know. 

all our love, 

Leah and Lydia.

How are you doing?

The question I often get asked is...  How are you doing? I often don't know how to asnswer it.

 120 days of life without Kent. 

 Some days I feel like I am good and I can handle most anything that comes my way.  Some days, I hold it together and come home and just wish I had him here. The tears well up as my empty house is a constant reminder of his absence. I miss doing simple things together, we didn't need to do fancy trips together although they were fun.  All we cared about was having ice cream dates together on the back deck, or even taking a walk around our yard for him to get fresh air when days were difficult and he had no energy.  

Lydia for the month of May has been busy.  Lifegaurd training for Geneva took a better part of May and she did extremely well in the fridgid temps. Lydia has been our '"go getter" since I can remember and the "miles" she has gone is quite amazing! She now is almost done with her intense PD type training before Geneva starts on June 9th, with campers! (more on her adventures through the summer.)

 May 27th Lydia moved to Camp Geneva and that was my first night alone.  ALONE! I wish I could say I was prepared or even that it went well.  The next few nights I struggled.  I lay awake. In a room where Kent was cared for by Hospice until he passed.  My mind went everywhere other than asleep.  I had every thing to help me but I just couldn't sleep. Most nights continue to be like that, I am blessed if I get one full nights sleep.  

This summer I will be volunteering some of my Monday's at Geneva.  Even though I will not see my girl at all, I can't wait to start this new role.  My family loves and has been part of Geneva forever.  My Dad taught messages on Sundays, my cousin has been a chaplain, Lydia has had many roles starting with being a young camper and now could not make me more proud as she has become high school cordinator.  

May 29 th I recieved an email from the monument placement company.  Our headstone had been placed.  I had texted Kent's mom and my mom and Kent's Mom and I drove that evening to see it.  It was beautiful! It told of everything Kent was... He wanted everyone to, "Keep sharing Jesus." and to  Hope in Jesus! (I will share a photo on FB) (I'm not techy like my daughter to put on the blog.)

We started June off on the 1st remembering my Dad.  It is 12 years of celebrating him since his passing.  The amazing Husband, Dad, Papa, and Pastor he was! People still to this day remind us how he  blessed them and their story. We are so blessed by each person and their rememberance! What an honor it is for Lydia and me to call him Dad and Papa!  

So as I close on the next month without Kent I can't think of a better way to remember him June 5. 

 I will go out to lunch with a wonderful friend.  

June 5th  in the evening we will head to a Friend and Family dinner at Geneva. (formerly the donor dinner.) This dinner we will hear the stories of Geneva, we will hear the staff sing a song or two including the new theme song. Kent went last year and even though he won't be there in person  he is with Lydia as his daughter tells campers the wonderful stories of Jesus! 

Thank You to every person that looks out for me, cares for me, is there through the tears and the laughter! I can not say it enough of how much I love you all! Days and nights are just not the same without him.  I miss conversation, drives and the love we shared.  He will forever be in my heart.  Always!  

Leah and Lydia